What Happened in 2016??

Hi everyone. I haven’t been blogging much at all over the last year so I thought I would take some time to fill you in on the goings on in my life. As there were many things that happened last year I think it will be easier to write about it all over a few blogs.

So lets call this “part one”…

So earlier in 2016 I wrote about the lump that I had found in my breast and how rapidly it was growing. I mentioned I was off to see an Endocrinologist (total, expensive waste of time) and that I was getting a referral to see a breast surgeon. I was also getting increasing amounts of pelvic pain which I had put down to my endometriosis, so I was off to see a Gynaecologist as well.

As I said the endocrinologist was a total waste of time, apart from her having no idea why my doctors would have sent me too her, she had no experience in the area of hormone imbalances anyway…she basically said she couldn’t really help me, but charged me for her time anyway.

Next I was off to meet with the breast surgeon (she was and is so wonderful), she said straight away that she didn’t think it was a Fibroadenoma, but instead a Phyllodes Tumor (these usually fall into 3 categories benign, borderline or malignant). My surgeon said she would like to remove it and I was scheduled for surgery at the end of March. Meanwhile I had a visit to the gynaecologist, who believed that from my condition and complaints that I most likely had Adenomyosis (which is a thickening of the uterus due to cells growing in the muscle wall) as well as endometriosis. Due to the fact that I was already scheduled for surgery, the gynaecologist decided it was best to get over the breast issue and come back to see her once I had recovered to discuss my options.

So the date of surgery arrived and I was off to the hospital for a 7am time slot. I have had surgery before, but not for a while, so to say I was peeking with anxiety is an understatement! I ended up having a student nurse follow my surgical journey that she would then use to write her assessment piece. (She sent me the piece she wrote and it was really interesting to read about what happened while I was under anaesthetic). It actually was so great to have her there to be with me every second (especially when you are usually left on your own in the pre op area).

The tumor was removed with margins leaving me with a large scar on the side of my breast. Then the wait for results began. 2 weeks after surgery I went back to see my surgeon. She confirmed it was a Phyllodes Tumor and that she had clear margins. The central part of the tumour was just beginning to have some abnormal cell change, so I was relieved that I had listened to my instincts and had seeked out further advice rather than just sitting with the original diagnoses of it just being a Fibroadenoma (as these are not cancerous). This experience was scary, but really reiterated the need for myself and all of you to listen to your bodies and if you feel something isn’t right take charge of the situation and push to have things looked at further.

So that brings me to the end of what I am calling “part one”, I hope it wasn’t to long, but I felt the need to share what has happened to me just incase it could help someone else.

xx

 

 

 

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Girl Talk…

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Well life was suppose to be back to normal now. Kids back at school. After school activities back on. Husband back to his normal shift work routine. And me with some time to start focusing on my creative endeavors.

Well that didn’t quite happen! Last January I found a breast lump (it was actually before that, but I think I was secretly willing it to disappear). After the initial visit to my doctor (where he actually reassured mew by saying it was too big to be cancer) I had an ultrasound, followed by a mammogram (which found a cyst as well) then a fine needle biopsy and a core biopsy.

The results came back with the conclusion that it was a fibroadenoma. A fibroadenoma is a benign tumor. The doctors advice was to leave it.  At this time the tumor was 1.5 cm. Over this past year I have felt the tumor increase in size, so back to my doctor. I also have bee having a lot of pelvic pain which I believe is endometriosis which I was diagnosed and treated for when I was 19.

The doctor sent me back to have ultrasounds of both my breast and pelvis. The fibroadenoma tumor is now 6.5 cm, so more than doubled in a year! They took 3 core biopsies…ouch!

They also found a small fibroid in the uterus, but don’t believe that is what is causing the pain.

So now I am off to see an Endocrinologist to see what is going on with my hormones, which is probably one of the causes for both the rapid growth of the tumor and also the increase in pelvic pain. I had never even heard of an Endocrinologist before and have been googling like mad to find out as much information as I can!

I’m also off to see the doctor again this afternoon to get a surgical referral to a breast surgeon to see what their thought are on the size of the tumor.

I am so, so relieved that it is not cancer, but at the same time am I am very anxious about what is next.

Thanks for taking the time to read this. I just thought it might help with my anxiety about it all to share and write down what is going on.

xx

New year, new me! Well not so much…

  
Here we are in the first week of the new year and I’m already back in last years habits (well I really never got our of them!). I have been dreaming of my new life, full of motivation, happiness and creativity, but I’m just tired and flat.

I’ve been reading all the articles to get past blockages and gain motivation and they all say the same thing…it all starts with me. I have to make the change. I know, I know, but what if I am just stuck? How do I get the energy to move past the blockages?

As you can probably see this is a bit of a vent as I’m feeling really frustrated with myself and my life. I know there isn’t a special switch that turns on on New Year’s Day and sets everything in motion with a fresh new outlook (so wish there was!), but I guess it is the trigger to assess the way you have been living and think seriously about they way you want it to change.

So I have all the background thoughts going on about what it is I want to change and how I want to live, I just have no idea on how to reach it.

I will keep trying. I just wish I could go to sleep (that’s a problem in itself) and wake up fresh and revived in the morning to move forward in a positive way.

Would love to hear if anyone else feels this way, or has felt this way, and how you tackled it.

Thanks so much for taking the time to read this.

xx

Inspiring…

  
I read this post yesterday…“Reasons why I’m not ashamed of my mental health condition” and it made me feel so positive. I love that it made me feel that I am not alone and that I am surrounded by amazing people who also suffer from mental illness.
I was with a friend the other day who is really struggling with anxiety at the moment and she had an panic attack while we were out with another friend. Having been in her shoes so many times myself I tried to help her through it with understanding and encouragement that she can get through it and it will pass (the immediate panic attack anyway). Afterwards, when she had headed home to rest, another friend (who doesn’t know much about my own struggles) kept saying she didn’t get it and that she better get herself together or her marriage won’t last and there was no need for her to be upset over everything, as she had a great life. This hurt me (I’m sorry to say I didn’t say too much as I think I was in shock), but it was another clear example that if mental illness hasn’t touched your life in some way you just don’t seem to understand (or maybe you don’t want to understand?).

I wish there was a way to educate others to understand that sometimes we can’t control how we feel, no matter how much we REALLY want to. We can’t stop our brains from causing unnecessary reactions as much as we tell it not to. And the big one…we cant just pull ourselves together and get over it!

Am I finished?..

Here is my latest artwork titled “Autumn”. The only problem is I don’t know if it’s finished or not! I am hopeless when it comes to making a decision on my own pieces. I am constantly thinking of what can be added! So can you help? I would love some feedback. Have a great day xx

  

40 today…

Well it’s here…today I celebrated my 40th! 

After a very early start (my son worked a shift last night at KFC which was suppose to finish at 11pm and ended up finishing at 1am, so sitting in the car park waiting for him I quietly wished myself happy birthday at 12.01am!) I have had a really nice day.

Pressies this morning with a coffee, then off to Canberra for my son’s piano exam followed by brunch with him and hubby.

After a bit of a wander around the shops and picking up my daughter’s present for her birthday next week, we headed back home, I had a bit of a nap, as I was getting a migraine probably from being up late and not sleeping much. I felt much better after that.

Then one of my dearest friends came over and we headed out to dinner at the local club with my family (mum and dad have just moved over from South Australia and are living with us at the moment while their house is being built). Had a great dinner and drinks, then I came home to a fantastic birthday cake made by my daughter.

   
 
So feeling pretty special right now!